He Cried
by vcky-chan
Summary: It's been years since Hermione's death and Draco Malfoy discovers an envelope filled with her thoughts during her last year at Hogwarts. R & R please! UPDATED!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first HP fic so be nice, okay? I dunno if I'll continue this fic or leave it as a one-shot…It's up to you guys so just review and tell me if you want me to continue it, 'kay?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter…If I did I wouldn't be writing this!

A/N: By the way, the poems here are by me! Sorry if they suck…

   Draco stared at himself in the mirror. He no longer looked like the Draco Malfoy of Hogwarts. His silvery blonde hair was now a pale, dry blonde. Cheek bones jutted out of his face and he now crossed the border between pale white skin and sick white skin. The cold expression of his eyes were gone and had been replaced with loneliness.

   He couldn't believe that it had been five years since Hermione's death. The love of his life was gone. He felt like had no more purpose in life. He was wrong, of course. He did have a purpose and that was to move on. He had to live life as Hermione would have wanted him to. Problem was that he couldn't, not after what he had done to her during their 7th year.

_Flashback_

_   "I'm sorry Hermione but I have to leave you now. We both know this is nothing but a worthless fling. You'll get over me…Besides, we both knew from the beginning that pure bloods and mud-mu-muggleborns will never mix." Draco said looking away._

_   "B-but! Draco! We love each other! The first time we went out you promised that your being a pureblood wouldn't be an issue! Besides, I love you! And you love me…" she looked in his eyes. He quickly looked away. "…right??"_

_    When he said nothing, Hermione started to run away with tears streaming down her eyes._

    _Unknown to Hermione, he looked away because he didn't want her to see him cry. He didn't want her to know that he didn't break up with her because he didn't love her. He broke up with her because he knew she was too good for her. She was there to fight evil while his family was evil itself. A curse had been placed on him years ago. If he ever  married a muggleborn, she  would die. There was no future for them._

_   Weeks after that incident, Hermione left to fight against the Dark Lord. Before she left, she managed to give him a small "Goodbye". Ironically, it happened to be the last time they would ever meet. She died a week later._

_End of flashback._

   He glanced at his study table and saw a large brown envelope shoved under it. He pulled it out and wiped the dirt from the envelope. 'Draco' was written on it. It was the envelope that he found in Hermione's study table in their common room (a/n: They were heads.) He had taken it before her parents came to clean her room out. He never had the guts to open it before though.

   _Well, it's been 5 years…Maybe it's about time _he thought. In it were a bunch of stuff. There was a necklace which he had given her on Valentine's Day. It was a heart shaped emerald mounted on silver. 'Draco and Hermione' was engraved at the back. There were also a bunch of photos. Hermione and Draco kissing, Hermione and Draco holding hands, Hrmione and Draco hugging and so on. There were also a bunch of notes inside which they had passed to each other during class. A sheaf of paper wrapped in a red ribbon was inside too. The first one was a letter written in Hermione's perfect script.

_Dear Draco,_

_   I'll probably be gone by the time you read this. I just want to tell you that I'm sorry if I'm not good enough for you. I did my best Draco and I loved – no –  I LOVE you. I guess my love wasn't big  enough to compensate for your lack of love for me though. Oh, well. You can't blame me for trying. I love you Draco. I always did and I always will. I'll love you until my last breath and after. Goodbye Draco Malfoy. Goodbye._

_                                                                                                                                    Love,_

_                                                                                                                                Hermione_

   Draco's eyes filled with tears as he read her letter to him. He refused to let them flow though. Like he used to say, Malfoys didn't cry. Under the letter were a bunch of poems.

_Time has past_

_Yet I am empty_

_Nothing is inside_

_I am broken_

_No longer complete_

_There is a hole _

_No one can fill it._

_Where are you?_

_No life_

_No happiness_

_It's been quite a time since then_

_But emptiness has chosen to stay_

_Happiness has fled_

_I am no longer me._

_I'm lost._

_Where am I?_

_Emotions shared_

_Happiness together_

_Memories past_

_Memories no longer coming back_

_Life has cheated us._

_Where are we?_

   At that moment Draco wanted to scream. _I am here Hermione! _he thought _I always was and I always will be…_He decided to move on to another poem.

_Smiles shared_

_Little winks_

_Everything else forgotten_

_Only you were there._

_Every morning_

_Every evening_

_Rain or shine_

_Thoughts of you ruled my mind._

_No escape_

_I wasn't even ready_

_I t was unknown to me_

_But I had fallen._

_Far from my mind_

_It was unexpected_

_I had no idea_

_Yet I loved you._

_I was happy_

_Times were good_

_Flowers blossomed_

_But that was then._

_Now there is nothing._

_No more laughter_

_No more smiles_

_No more you_

_Only my pain_

_My love was lost._

   This time, Draco really did scream. After a few minutes of screaming, he stopped. He took the sheaf of papers and took another one. This one was shorter.

_I smiled _

_You turned away_

_I waved_

_You ignored me_

_I looked at you_

_You looked away_

_Why? _

_Am I not good enough?_

_Do you not love me?_

_What did I do wrong?_

_Why?_

_Sigh_

_It's quite simple really_

_I love you_

_But you don't love me back._

   It was the last straw. He started to go on a rampage. He threw everything he saw and hurt himself in the process. He ripped papers, pulled off the green curtains. After a while, he collapsed on the floor and did an un-Malfoyish thing. He cried.

A/N: So, what do you think? Review, okay? And, oh yeah! No flames! That's all! Buh-bye!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hiya! I wasn't really planning on continuing this but…well…inspiration sort of stuck…Oh well! This isn't going to be a very long story though. Maybe only 4-5 chappies…Super sorry I haven't updated for the longest time! My internet account was cut off…

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter…I'm just a high school student who's forever broke so it wouldn't do you any good if you sued me!

   When Draco woke up he found himself on the floor in the middle of a very messy bedroom. For a moment, he forgot why he was on the floor then remembered the envelope with all of the stuff Hermione had intended him to have.

   "What a bloody mess!" he said when he viewed his room. He looked for his wand and upon finding it, flicked his wrist and the room was once again in order.

   He picked up the envelope. _I shouldn't be torturing myself this way _he thought. Nevertheless he took the envelope, settled on the couch and began looking through the stuff. He took the necklace he gave her and let it dangle before his eyes. As he did this, the memory of that Valentine's Day returned.

_Flashback_

_   Hermione had been looking for Draco since about an hour ago. They were supposed to go on a date since it was Valentine's Day._

_   "Where is he?!" she said turning the lights on. She was surprised to see the room covered with roses. Petals were strewn all over the carpet and on just everything else. Draco emerged from behind the staircase leading to their rooms. _

_   "Happy Valentine's Day, Herm!" he said giving her a bouquet of red roses. _

_   "Aww! You shouldn't have!" she replied giggling. She hugged him tightly and gave him a small kiss on the nose. "Thanks! The room looks lovely! I didn't think you could stand this much red!" They lauged when she mentioned the fact that despite how much Draco loved Hermione, he still hated the Gryffindor colors.._

_   "Hmmmm…well, the stems and leaves are green!"_

_   Hermione laughed. She couldn't believe that THE Draco Malfoy now had humor. _He's changed so much _she thought._

_   "Hello! Earth to Hermione!"_

_   "Huh?! Oh! Uh! Yeah!"_

_   "Come on! Let's eat!"_

_   "There isn't any food!"_

_   "Yes, there is!" At that moment, food appeared on the coffee table in the middle of their common room. The food wasn't anything fancy. Just a few sweets and some fruits._

_   "I figured we shouldn't eat anything heavy. We do have a date right?!"_

_   "We sure do!" Hermione grinned and pulled Draco towards the couch. They started eating and Hermione would occasionally feed Draco with her hand. He too did the same._

_   Later that afternoon, they went to the Three Broomsticks. In the middle of their meal, Draco brought out a box. In it was the lovely necklace._

_   "Draco! It's lovely!" Hermione cried. "And expensive, I bet." she added as an afterthought._

_   "Nothing's too lovely or expensive  for my favorite girl…" he replied chuckling._

_   "Well, I'm sorry I didn't get you a present. I didn't have the time." she said, looking embarrassed._

_   "It's okay. Knowing you love me is the best present ever." he said pulling her into a deep and passionate kiss._

_End of Flashback_

   He shook his head.

   _I should stop all this remembering and move on _he thought.

   _But you can't because you feel guilty _his heart replied.

_   Still…she's dead…Nothing can change that _argued his mind_._

_   But how can you move on? Your heart belongs to her and only her! _his heart spat.

_   Moving on doesn't mean I don't love her! _

_   Well…_

_   Well what?!_

_   I love her and I can't move on knowing that she left me thinking that I didn't love her!_

He absolutely hated it when his mind and his heart argued. Somehow, they never really agreed. He sighed and decided to get some breakfast. He rang a little gold bell and a house elf immediately came running toward him.

   "What can Dobby do for Master? Dobby will do anything for master, oh yes." said the little house elf.

   "Coffee. Black. And a piece of toast and butter." Draco said sighing again. He picked up the pile of photos and found himself staring at a picture of him and Hermione waving at the camera. The next one was the one with him and Hermione kissing under the mistletoe. He was still viewing the pictures when he noticed a piece of paper fall from the pile.

_Draco,_

_   You must think I'm crazy for leaving you with all this stuff. After all, why would you care about a stupid, 'mudblood' who you never loved and is probably dead by now?  Well, maybe it's because I want you to know how hurt I am. I thought you loved me yet you never really did. Or did you? Draco, when I heard you say you wanted us to break up, I couldn't believe it. I thought we were going to live happily ever after. In the beginning, I was furious with you and sad at the same time. Now, while I'm writing this, I don't really know what to feel. I wasn't really planning on writing this, you know. After all, I did give you a letter already, the one along with the poems. It's just that as I was putting all this stuff into the envelope, I realized something. All the stuff we went through couldn't have been just a lie right? If you didn't really love me then maybe you at least felt 'something' for me…Well, anyway, you must think that I've gone bonkers, but the truth is, I just want you to realize something while you look at his stuff. I want you to think about what we went through. I also want you to know that I don't believe you never really loved me. Draco? I need an answer. I don't think I'll be getting one though. The future is uncertain for me Draco. I might be gone a few days within the battle. Or maybe I'll survive and we'll meet again. Who knows? If never get an answer from you, I'll be happy knowing that you've thought about this, so please do. I'm confusing you, aren't I? Oh well…I love you Draco…And I pray with all my heart that you do too._

_Hermione_

   Hermione was right. She was confusing him. He smiled at this thought. He and Hermione never did agree. They were so different from each other yet bound together by love.

   At that moment Dobby came in with Draco's breakfast. He ate quickly and went back to the envelope. Somehow, he couldn't stop himself from reading the stuff inside despite the fact that it just made him feel like his heart was being torn into pieces. Maybe it was because while looking at all the stuff and reminiscing all the memories, he felt that Hermione was still with him. He decided to read another poem.

_Torn into pieces_

_My heart aches_

_It feels like the world has stopped_

_Life has left me behind_

_It has moved on_

_Yet I am here_

_Alone _

_Unmoving_

_Hurting._

_Before me life goes on_

_People laugh_

_People smile_

_People live_

_And yet I don't._

_I am alive_

_My body moves_

_I can think_

_Yet my heart seems frozen_

_Cold_

_Hard_

_Loveless._

_I love you_

_Yet I hate you_

_You tore my life apart _

_You left me_

_With nothing_

_With no one_

_Without you_

_It seems like I'm dead._

   Draco didn't know what to think. He never realized before that what he had done to her had affected her that much. Sure, he knew she was hurting but he didn't expect it to be that bad. He thought she had forgotten about it after a while since she was acting normally already. In front of her friends, she was the same Hermione Granger. She had lost some of her sparkle but still…

   _I guess she was doing what I was doing _he thought. _We were both trying to cover up our hurt by going on with life and allowing people to think that w were happy again. We're probably more similar than we thought, Herm._

Draco felt like crying again so he decided to stop sorting through all the stuff. He glanced at his desk and saw that he had some unfinished business to attend to. He got the envelope, shoved it into one of his drawers and started to leaf through the various documents in his desk. Still, he couldn't seem to stop thinking about the poem.

   'Life has left me behind.'

   'You tore my heart apart.'

   'It seems like I'm dead.'

   The words kept ringing in his head until he couldn't take it anymore. Once again, he did a very un-Malfoyish thing. He cried.

A/N: Well? Whaddya think? Please review! And no flames please…I get enough of that from my other stories…Hahaha!


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